Yes. There might be millions of articles like this online but I did not read them. This article is special because I am writing it based on my personal experience. I believe it will be mainly helpful for men but, of course, it could also be for women.
Do you really wanna understand behavior of women and to have more prettier and more harmonic relationships? If yes, then read carefully. As we know well, women are mostly very fragile and sensitive creatures even though they are trying to hide it outwardly and act as heroines. I think they are good at it. I was good at it, as well.
I think the main problem why men don’t understand women is that they mostly see this “rough” side of them and while arguing they do not think how woman really is under this mask.
Why do women put on these masks?
The answer is really simple. Because some kind of “safety” which they think will save them from disappointment or suffering. The opposite is true. Women are hurting themselves by this the most. They are hiding their real faces and playing something they are not.
It is really important to realize that the biggest intimacy in relationship is not nudity or sex. It is the detection of your real you to your partner. And people fear this. Not just women but men also. Unless we do not reveal to the fullest, our relationship will be purely shallow and will function only on this level which is a pity.
When an argument happens or a woman doesn’t like something, she tends to pupate into her “safe” hiding place and she has the feeling that the problem will solve itself. Women should not, of course, react this way in harmonic relationship but they do. So let’s see it from the point of view of a man.
What does a man do when he sees angry or offended woman?
After unsuccessful attempts of figuring out what is wrong he will most likely resign and become angry, as well. We all know that thick energy which stays in a room at that moment, don’t we?
And here we come into the main point of this article. I am writing it because if Daniel wasn’t who he is and didn’t react the way he reacts we would not probably be together anymore because our egos would kill each other since I often used to hide “inside of me”.
So what is that secret?
Guys, whenever this kind of unpleasant situation happens, always stay as much present and as much observant as possible. Do not fall into the gap where your other half already is! Try to take her from there! Simply observe her well and realize that it is NOT HER behaving that way. It is her mind or body of pain speaking instead of her which she has identified herself with and which is the reflection of her painful experience from the past. You know her, though! Realize how beautiful she really is. How full of love, fragile and sensitive she is. You have to save her because she is really suffering inside even though it doesn’t seem that way from the outside.
Approach her carefully. Ask her what is happening, ask her different questions. Even though she won’t want to answer or she will be unpleasant, you have to keep calm. Do not get angry with her. It is not her fault. Be unconditionally persistent and don’t let yourself to be dragged into the gap.
You will see a huge change and arguments will totally disappear from your relationship because you will be present and ego will not control you. You reaction will also really surprise your other half. She might not understand in the beginning and she will consciously wan to argue but you will not let it happen. Because you have already decided to only give her love and nothing else.
She will realize it. Maybe not immediately, maybe on the fifth time but bel
ieve me, she will realize it and appreciate it. In the end she will tell you everything what is wrong with her. But she will say it only because she will know you are trustworthy. She will know you won’t judge her because of it and you will listen to everything she will tell you calmly and with love. She won’t be scared to tell you anything because she will be sure you won’t hurt her and arguments won’t get worse.
A flame of open communication on any topic and under any circumstance will lit with all this in your relationship. You will simply be able to solve anything!
It was similar in my case, too.
Daniel has taught me a lot and he still does. To have a relationship without any drama is not impossible neither unreal. It is enough to stay present, not let yourself to be dragged by mind and see your girlfriend as pure, sensitive and innocent soul.